Moving into the teenager years is a difficult time for any person. You start to develop a unique identity regarding appearance and taste, exploring a bigger world than the pokey playground corner. Awkward, sudden decisions that can't be dealt with by parents, making your first true mistakes and the endless details of the "birds and bees." The sweet innocent period of your life is truly shattered. Besides the physical body changes, another big key area that starts to develop as a teen is confidence. Some kids bathe in confidence, religiously follow the trends and quickly rise to the top of the untouchable popular list. Others lag behind. The "different" kids are exposed within an instant. I remember the first time I was picked on at school and that was because I proudly told the entire class I listened to dance music. Yep..... completely crucified! The shining glow from my face turned into a deep shade of embarrassment. Oblivious on how to deal with the situation, I inevitably broke down crying. Confidence straight down the sink hole. Things never really picked up from there at school! So besides the endless ridicule for personal opinion and my natural shy personality not helping either, I didn't think things could get any worse! My skin had other ideas.
(The nose a deeper red than Alex Ferguson's)
If you're an acne sufferer or have had acne in the past, you'll understand how shit it is. 1 in 3 of us will experience it at some point in our lives. I happen to have at the worst time in my life! If trying to find my own voice wasn't hard enough, now I had these angry red spots covering my face to deal with. Naively I assumed it would be over in a couple of weeks. Then it turned to couple of months. Then a couple of years. I had it for 8 years in total. In recent years I've always believed that if I was one of the elite kids at school, I wouldn't have any remarks made about my appearance. A person on low confidence will always be a direct target in the school firing squad. Cherry picking the easy ones to make themselves feel better about their miserable little lives. Thing is, these bullies had no idea who I was because of my quiet nature. I had no courage. They had taken that from me. All because they made fun about a few blotches on my face and the interests I had! Ridiculous!
(Me on the far right, 2013)
Even after the trauma of school, I had another challenge to face. Social nights out in town. This was where my acne was at its peak. Big clusters of extra pepperoni sprinkled over a puffy red base. If you thought pulling girls with low confidence was bad enough, try doing it with acne all over your face. May as well spend your time sitting at the bar, attempting to beat your jagerbomb score. I decided that enough was enough. I was tired of seeing the old physical and mental scars every single day of my life. After a long old chat, I was referred to a dermatologist by the GP. Sitting in that bleak, humid waiting room was to be the start of a new chapter of my life. I'll always remember the words the consultant told me. "This isn't going to be a quick fix. The medication being prescribed to you will had side effects. The medication might only be for six months but in a couple of years you'll see the full results." It's so true. I'm not going to lie, the drug Roccautaine made my mood swings feel like I was king of the world to the lowest human being on the planet. Any form of drinking was a big no no. But through all the pain, it is the best decision so far I have made. Not only has my skin cleared up vastly but my confidence is starting to blossom. I'm always going to be the quiet guy of the group but that doesn't bother me anymore. I don't have the scars of the past, I'm always looking forward. I have so much I want to pursue in my life and that would not have been possible 2-3 years ago. It's amazing how your appearance can affect your self-esteem. Looking back I had nothing to fear from people making comments about how I looked. Short sighted opinions from idiots with no ambitions other than to satisfy their miserable little lives. They shouldn't affect you. Always think of the bigger picture. A nasty part human nature is for people to judge strangers in a split second and that should never be the case. Amazingly after all the icky spots had gone, people started to embrace me more and took the time to have conversations with me. This makes me deeply upset because acne is a condition that can not be helped whatsoever. If you're experiencing acne right now, I understand the constant mental pain. Just remember that this horrid condition should not keep you down no matter how much crap you get. It doesn't change the person behind the face. Complete your life goals and take on those challenges! It took me 8 years to realise that.
That's me on the right, 2 and a half years on. Same club, different me!
